I need chocolate.

Hmm.
I don't particularly feel anything right now. I'm not entirely sure if I'm supposed to be feeling something, but I guess that the lack of feeling is a good thing?
I'm really bored. With myself. I feel like there's a change that I should be going through, like I should be finding my true calling. But there's nothing ... And it's so boring becuase I know I have what it takes to be a different person. The kind of person that I want to be, ya know?

I also think that I'm a little weird for always having to have my big epiphanies (or whatever) in the early hours of the morning. This is seriously cutting into my sleep time. And it's beginnign to show.

Anyways, I guess I'm here to say that I'm still not over him. You know, the guy that got me all bothered and stupid towards the year previous to this. I know I'm talking in circles, but this is my blog, not ... well, whoever is judging me right now. Capito?

I'm not over him. I still get all cafuffled thinking that I'm getting signs everwhere. For example, a memory of him will be associated with like ... a tree. No, bad example. OK, a thought of him would be associated with a location. And I get all nostalgic. I dont' know what it is. It was just ... So Close.

Omg. That's why ... cuz we were so close and still so far. Ugh, I hate it when song lyrics click into sudden synch with my life. Hate. But Love. Because it's always so beautiful.

Just today, Mahal told me that she saw him and I pretended to be happy and indifferent. Yep, I know that it didn't bid well with her. I know she didn't really think that I was over him. I told her that I didn't care or whatever because I so, desperately need to not dcare.
You know what it is, I think I told this to Nads, Pands and Mahal already - but he was close to what I wanted/what my parents wanted in a guy for me. What's a girl to do.
It's just so complicated but NOT at the same time.

Ouuuuu, I know what will solve my problem.
Chocolate ...