i hope that sorry IS enough ...

friendships are the strongest bonds yet also the most fragile; for it takes only a seemingly small slippage to completely wreck something that took forever to build up.
when you make a mistake; when you have wronged your best friend, you have to own up to it. don't make excuses for yourself.
i'm owning up to my mistake. for whatever reason, i wasn't in the right mindset, and i wasn't thinking straight - i didn't really think things through and the toll on our friendship my actions would take but there it is.
the past, it's done. it's unchangeable, and i can't do anything about it.
excect say over and over how much i regret it and how i would do things differently because now that i look back on it, i know how i would have behaved. i know that i was acting like a complete moron. i mean, i kept thinking that you were going to get in and i was pissed. i was like wtf, this is unfair. the bouncers and hte people inside that were in charge said there was nothing they could do about it. and i remember feeling like i was talking outside of myself or something and then i went inside. i kept trying to tell her to wait...
i dont' know what for. for some reason i just had it in my head that she was getting in.
but that's beside the point. cuz what i should have done is just go after her. but i didn't . and i failed as a best friend. i have don all my best friends in the past so much wrong. it's like, i dunno i'm retarded or something.
but this one --hell no.
i'm going to get her forgiveness somehow. it's gonna take some time but i dont care. i cna't live without her there for me and i want to show her that i'll never betray her like that again.
i'm sorry mands.
please dont' say that sorry's not enough ...